Caregiving Challenges, Future Care and Planning

Your loved is independent but lives alone, so you have concerns. This is an ideal time to talk about what they want for future care and planning.

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When your loved one lives alone

Parent(s), or other loved ones, can live alone and thrive, remaining active and mentally alert, with or without chronic medical diagnoses. This is an ideal time to start discussing future planning and the care they want to receive as they continue aging.

Having this discussion when your loved one is well and independent helps to set a positive and reassuring tone rather than one of gloom and doom.  Remember this should be a two-way conversation, with more listening than talking on your part, and understand that it may become emotional and even difficult. Compassion and patience are key, as is sticking to one topic at a time.  You may be able to accomplish this over one weekend, though it might take several visits and conversations that happen over time.

Tips for taking on these difficult discussions

Checklist

Use this checklist to help you organize your conversations and track completion of essential items.

Discuss with your loved one:

□  Legal documents

□  Advanced Directives

□  Will or Trust

□  Living Will

□  Healthcare Surrogate

□  Power of Attorney (Durable and Medical)

□  Documents Location (fill in):

□  Executors have Copies

□  Living Arrangements

□  End-of-Life Care

□  Funeral Arrangements/Burial Wishes

Discussing life and care wishes early is much easier than waiting until a crisis occurs.

Start by discussing if there is anything now that they wish they had help doing, even though they are successfully living independently. Yard work, housekeeping, grocery shopping, transportation. Things they may think to themselves, "I just wish I had someone to help me with this," whenever they have to do it. Then discuss options for getting them help. Getting help with harder tasks helps them continue living independently, as there is less risk of exhaustion and injury.

Talk about what would happen if they couldn’t live in their home alone.

Talk about the care they want as they continue aging.

Discuss what they want for funeral arrangements and/or burial plans, if those haven't been established already.

Discuss the finalization of legal documents (see Checklist above).

  1. Are the documents completed?

  2. Where are the documents located? 

  3. Do all appropriate people have copies of all appropriate documents (i.e., those with power of attorney, executors, healthcare providers, attorneys)?

Regarding legal documents, it is best to engage an elder care attorney for advice. An elder care attorney, versus other types of attorneys, keeps current on state laws and regulations that impact older adults. They have this Checklist in their head. Utilizing an elder care attorney not only ensures that all your loved one's wishes are made official but also that everything is kept in order and completed.

When a parent or loved one reaches a stage of needing assistance or even supervision, it is a hard transition for both of you. Those changes usually happen slowly, but not always.  Sometimes a health crisis will dictate immediate changes, changes for which no one is prepared. Accomplishing these tasks, especially before a crisis occurs, helps tremendously in all aspects of care.

No content in this app, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.

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